The first day of the rest of your life

It happened noooothing like I thought it would.  Wednesday morning I wake up feeling like absolute garbage, thinking my period is about to rear its’ ugly head, but in the back of my mind hoping it was something else.  I went about my day: coffee, internet, housecleaning.  Around 10:30, I’m still fighting with myself in my head, and to prove my hopeful self wrong, I decided to just take a test and get it over with. 

Except this time, after 11 months of just one line, there were two.  Two very apparent pink lines.  I freaked out and called Oscar, who offered a logical solution: just take another one when you have to go.  Oh, right.  I can do that.  I had bought a whole pack of generic cheap test strips from some website along with a crapton of ovulation strips, so I had plenty.  I went downstairs and drank a full cup of water and waited.  Next time I had to go, I tested two strips.  A little lighter due to the water I’d just chugged, but both of these also had two lines.  TWO LINES. 

I called Oscar back and told him to go to CVS and pick up one of those idiot-proof digital ones, so he did.  And I drank more water, and we waited.  This time, I thought, this is gonna be the kicker.  It’s more expensive so maybe it’ll catch something the others didn’t – like a big, fat negative.  This test shows a little hourglass sign while it’s processing, so I had enough time to wash my hands and set it down to wait.  I glanced over and saw “Pregnant” and immediately thought I saw “Not Pregnant,” thinking there was glare on the digital reader, so I picked it up to be sure.  No “Not,” just the “Pregnant.”  FOUR positive pregnancy tests, and I was hopping up and down (Softly, of course). 

After a barrage of phone calls to my Mom, Oscar (who had to go back out to work before the digital one was confirmed), and a handful of friends I swore to secrecy, I made an appointment for yesterday morning to confirm with a doctor.  I went to the same woman who I’d just seen a few weeks before for something else.  Wednesday night was worse than ANY Christmas I’ve ever stayed up waiting for.  Neither Oscar nor I could sleep, both waking up at 5:00 that morning.  We got ready to go and in the car, he looked at me and said, “Now, now matter what happens, we’re going to be ok, right?”  I nodded and smiled nervously. 

The doctor’s office was so quiet because we were the first people in there.  They called me back within a few minutes and went ahead and checked my weight and blood pressure and told me to go ahead and give them a sample to run the test with.  Oscar and I sat in that little waiting room for what seemed like hours.  Then, a nurse popped her head in and said, “Is this your first pregnancy?”  Stunned, excited, and not sure what to think, I stuttered, “yeeees??”  Oscar’s eyes got huge.  “What did she MEAN is this your first pregnancy?!?”  I tried to calm him down, saying I wasn’t sure, but let’s not get our hopes up just yet, and she came back in with another nurse and the test and said, “congratulations, you got two lines almost immediately.”  Oscar and I both teared up, and the nurses were so surprised. “We don’t ever get this kind of reaction, we LIKE it!”  They both hugged us and told us congratulations and of course, we hugged each other in amazement that FIVE tests had told us what we’ve wanted to hear for months now. 

We waited for the doctor to come in and she estimated I’m about 6 weeks along (estimated due date late August), and went over a few basics with me before I make my first appointment.  I thanked her and the nurses about 8 times and we left, anxiously waiting to get off the elevator so we could call my Mom and Dad and let them know. 

The rest of yesterday was a total whirlwind.  We came home and wrapped an English/Spanish version of the book Are You My Mother? that I bought months ago in a crazy spell, and took it over to Oscar’s parents house, telling them we found a little something for them and that we wanted to give it to them as a late Christmas present.  They started opening it together, and Oscar said, “It’s something we think you’ll need…..around late August.”  Oscar’s Mom figured it out first and she teared up, immediately coming over to me and giving me a hug, and his Dad was quick to follow.  They were completely overjoyed, and wanted to know every detail of how we found out and so on. 

Everyone else got called in succession:  Grandparents, brothers, sisters, cousins, friends.  I know it’s a little early for me to be telling people, but after waiting for so long, it just didn’t feel right to keep it to ourselves.  Plus, anyone that knows me KNOWS I can’t keep a damn secret (good news, anyway) to save my life. 

I don’t really know how it happened (I mean, OBVIOUSLY I know how it happened), but after thinking for months that there was something wrong with me, worrying for weeks that I wouldn’t be able to conceive, it was the most amazing thing I could’ve hoped for.  I still don’t know if there was something that was hindering my ability to conceive, but now that I am pregnant (still totally weird, by the way), I want to focus on being the healthiest I can possibly be, and I want to thank everyone that has *ever* given me positive feedback about the whole situation, because it was absolutely heartbreaking for me every time I took a test and it was negative. 

Now, I’m looking forward to 2010 more than anything.  I can’t wait to be a mom.