Looks like I’m in need of a patent…

Jul 8, 2008 | Friends, hilarity

me: I’m looking at self-esteem books online and I feel ridiculous
N: ha
me: How do I find one that’s right for me?
It’s like training bra shopping all over again
N: hahahaha
um, no clue…whichever one vibes with you
me: Ugh… I’m not into all this new-age mumbo jumbo
Well, kinda. But not really
N: haha, yeah you are, but practical new age
Me: I don’t need crystals and sh*t
N: hahaha
me: At least the training bra I could fake fitting into
N: you could use a pendulum
me: I know! I need self-esteem cutlets!*
N: hahaha
you are so f**kin hilarious
I love it
self-esteem cutlets
N: ash, I just want to put you in a jar and open you up when I need some funny

*Self-Esteem Cutlets – Not to be confused with the ever-present regular cutlets, that pretty much do the same thing. These would be an all-over boost – not just the boobage.