It’s Tuesday and most of you are at work. Suckers.

What a morning.

I dropped applications at Barnes and Noble and a local coffeehouse, and tried to stop by the unemployment office three times this morning, only to be thwarted by So. Many. Cars.  It was busier than I’ve ever seen it, and as many times as I’ve been, I didn’t want to stand and wait in line for a couple hours to hear that I’m ineligible for unemployment, which I very well may be due to a lack of hours at my previous temp job. 

Before the third attempt, I went by Garden Ridge to kill some time.  While moseying through the mirror aisle, I became uncomfortable and completely self-aware (walking through an entire aisle of your own reflection can do that to someone).  I couldn’t help but look for a moment, and I realized that I finally look like an adult.  I also happen to be having a pretty killer hair day, if I do say so myself, and that helped a little.  Overall, I’m pleased with how I look, I guess, but I’m so overwhelmed by the adult I’m quickly turning into. 

I left Garden Ridge empty-handed (a good thing), and headed over to the unemployment office for the third time.  Still packed.  So I left.

Fine.  I chickened out.  But you have to understand, losing job number two in a matter of months doesn’t do much to plump the ego. 

I stopped by my favorite local bookstore (Foxtale in downtown Woodstock) to ask if they’d need some temporary help for the Christmas season and the lady behind the desk told me unfortunately they’re still so small that they can’t hire anyone.  I told her about Literally Efficient and was able to namedrop Rosemary (which felt amazing, by the way), and she told me to consider hosting a writing group of sorts there if I wanted to.  If I can just think of something, I’ll totally do that, but that doesn’t put the cash in my hand, and all I can think of is How Will I Buy My Christmas Presents This Year??, even though I know it has nothing to do with that, really. 

I thought I was done with the stress of being jobless.  I accepted that second job thinking it would get me through until I (finally) get pregnant and can stay home for a while.  It’s tough to try and keep an open mind, and keep thinking happy thoughts when everything around me feels like it’s going to shit. 

I came home and our house smells musty (If you ask me, like animal pee, although I don’t know that for sure), so I opened every openable window, and now I’m just enjoying the fresh air sweeping in.