I’m working at half capacity today. My iMac at work crashed as soon as I got here. “Failed hard drive” is what our IT guy said. Lame. He fixed it around lunchtime but I still need a new hard drive. I guess hundreds of files and 4,000ish emails in my inbox finally took its toll…
I got a haircut over the weekend. I love it but I think it’s going to take Oscar some getting used to. He really likes my hair long but I got bored and was feeling rebellious so I cut it.
This weekend I had the idea of “wanting to write” in the back of my head the entire weekend. I wanted to. I had the time to. Yesterday I had a few hours in the afternoon to myself, but I ended up folding laundry and vacuuming and watching a mini Golden Girls marathon instead.
What happens when you have the time, but you have no ideas? It’s like I’m avoiding it – but what does that mean? I’m starting to get irritated with myself because I want the “thing” more than I want to put in the time for the thing (like when I wanted to be amazing at the piano without the lessons in high school). I want to just like, buy some paint, put it on the canvas and then write about what colors I chose and why. Another thing that scares me – what if I have the drive without the talent?
Obviously, I’m frustrated. Bah.