Because “silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone.”

I realize this post is little out of sorts, seeing as how Thanksgiving has already passed, but I feel like it’s never too late to appreciate the things you have, be it two days before Christmas or not. 

It mostly boils down to two things for me.  All that other stuff; a home, clothing, food (although, I almost gave food its own category, it’s THAT important), money, they’re just ways to liven up the two that really mean the most. 

1.) Family.  This year has been an extremely tough one emotionally. Losing two jobs, trying to cope with the loneliness that being jobless brings, trying to start up a business, trying to start up a second business, and of course, trying to to have a baby.  I’ve had more ups and downs than a tilt-a-whirl.  But the whole time, I’ve had Oscar, my parents, and my other parents, Carlos and Pilar, and they’ve been so supportive and patient with me.  I’ve said before how lucky I am that I love (and I mean looove) my in-laws.  So much so that I really hate calling them that, preferring my “other parents” instead.  They are so kind and so hardworking, and I am fiercely loyal to them and the rest of their family, considering Cindy and Aldo my own siblings. 

One thing both of my families share is the importance of laughter in their lives, and I feel truly lucky (there’s that word again) to be a part of both. 

2.) Friends.  My friendships have also wavered some this year.  I gained one as an ex-coworker after job loss number one.  I lost one after a test of loyalty, and have been mourning that one for some time now.  I’ve also spent more time alone this year than I ever have.  To be frank, it kind of sucked.  But, it also led to self-discovery, which I wouldn’t trade for all the friends in the world.  Really, though, I have a handful that have seen me through the darkest days 2009 offered, and they stuck it out.  You know who you are, and I am beyond thankful.

Oscar has been the constant, of course, being lucky enough to be in both major categories.  The one person I can count on to be there regardless, and also the one person I’ve wanted to strangle the most.  It’s been difficult for me to try and figure out where I fit in this year.  Roles have changed.  Being home, I’ve had lots more “spare” time, and have re-arranged the house about a dozen times. I’ve also been the one who cleans the house, because I’m here, not off earning money (kind of a hard thing to come to grips with, considering housework = the most boring thing on the planet, I don’t care what Snow White says.)  I’ve picked more fights with him because I’ve been unhappy with myself.  I know, it’s a childish thing to do, but at least I recognize that I did it.  We are so lucky to have each other, because we really balance each other out.  He’s calm when I’m irrational (HUGE), he’s patient when I need to be (Also HUGE), he likes to cook and I’m slowly learning to, I like to bake and he doesn’t care for it, I snore and he barely notices. It’s little things like that coupled with the monumental things like encouraging me to seek out a job that I’ll love that make me feel like I’ve chosen the right one.  Plus, his Mom’s chiles rellenos don’t hurt, either.

In 2010, I hope I can travel as much or more than I did in 2009.  I’d love to go back to San Francisco, go to AWP in Denver, go to Mexico with Oscar’s family, and so on.  I hope I can get certified to teach 11th grade American Literature, the only thing that really makes any kind of sense to me.  And I really, really hope 2010 will bring allow us to be the most adorable mixed-race family Woodstock has ever seen.  Baby steps, though, right? 

As for the fast-approaching holiday, I’ll leave you with the little nuggets from our Christmas cards:

*quote – Gladys Browyn Stern